July 26, 2013

Put A Number On It

Photo via an old MPR story.

How much would you pay to skate your favorite spot, whenever you like, with no hassle, whatsoever? No, you can't crack coldies at will and you can't smoke things that you can't smoke elsewhere, or do things that really are outside the scope of shit you'd get away with as everyday-Joe on everyday. You get to skate. No problem, no headache. For a fee.

This is an unlikely hypothetical in Minneapolis and most of the U.S. (presumably), a maybe in Canada (I guess) and not really all that necessary in much of Europe (or maybe totally workable) and still a big question mark in much of the rest of the world. Would government allow people to skateboard on city or county owned property for a fee, a ticket, the small price of a permit?

When you get down to it, we pay taxes a plenty for many so-called public places, only to pay additional fees in-person for truly temporal use. Many, if not all, of these places exact a fine for non-payment of that temporal use, think $42 for not paying the computer to park, or the truly horrendous fines that can be exacted if one doesn't pay their LRT fare on the train to MOA for beers at Hooters.

Why not drop $3 into a machine at Government Center for three hours of hassle-free skating, if the only hassle is showing a county officer your little slip of paper, your permit? Don't have a permit? Get ready for the hassle and a hefty fine. Permit fees could go wherever, from sometimes pressure washing ledges (touché) to paying for a new Vikings stadium, which we in turn could pay to skate, assuming spot provided.

Beyond publicly held spots, let the private buildings join in. We sign away so many things (rights and such) every time we click "accept" on a terms of use agreement, that the same thing could be applied on a nice electronic kiosk, at the bottom of the Undercover 5. The risk of your bodily harm and ensuing lawsuit addressed to whoever-they-are is whisked away with a check in the box, the click of accept, and $5, because they're not the city or the county, you know?

Does this undermine your punk rock ethos of skateboarding? Yeah. Does this do much else other than making some skateboarding a little bit easier? I didn't think of anything, though I'm old, with semi-decent income and some permit money to burn. It's not like any sort of pay-to-skate-a-spot thing would ever happen, no-way for cool electronic ticket pay boxes and such, but shoot, I can dream, right?

12 comments:

Dan Rusin said...

It would be awesome if this someday became a reality! In the meantime, I've started bringing blank liability waivers around to spots when I'm out skating. I haven't talked any property owners into using them yet, but maybe one day it'll work out

Anonymous said...

so basically a skatepark with cracks and ledges that dont grind?

SPRNTRL said...

The good news is that the spot pictured you can pretty much skate whenever you want AND you dont have to pay!

mike said...

I've done what Dan's said in SF and got away with skating a couple spots.

Anonymous said...

hands down, you represent the half assed genre of skateboarders that further the homogenization of our pastime. you barely fucking skate and the only thing you have to offer is alittle bitch city pages form of progression. shut the fuck up and go skate a box. the term sreet skating no longer applies to you or yours. i suppose this is to be expected of a office park thrahser. hows duck foot chad bensons flatline going?

platinumseagulls said...

Go push up hill yelling "Antihero" and save skateboarding. I'll keep ruining it from my computer. *jerk-off hand motion to blast off*

Halfpipe of Odin said...

Real good question you asked there got me thinking!

Dan Jackson said...

Hey Anonymous (the angry one)--I think I'm pretty hyped on the reference to Benson's "duck foot", but not sure. Maybe I'm too old and out of the loop, but would you please care to explain/define said duck-footedness? Thanks!

-Dan Jackson

Anonymous said...

bunk ass foot placement and bowleg that looks like a city park duck chasing a piece of bread. not that it actually matters, styles objective and at least he doesn't skate like sean malto. anyway, nice one munz, i'll make sure to grab you an alex klein pro model messenger bag and a gay ass coffee drink from starbucks for you when i'm done pushing up the one hill i find in mpls. oh, and a copy of vita mn about some dipshit local rapper wearing a cardigan on the cover. outta set your day up for writing some milk and cookies bullshit for transworld.

Anonymous said...

Style's SUBJECTIVE you fucktard.

SPRNTRL said...

damn, this is getting heated

Anonymous said...

if only, this corpse of a website could use a little hot blood. get your metamucil for the familia sesh!