April 30, 2009

Triple OT. No Homo?

Photo by Sam McGuire

Mr McGuire shot some photos at Handjob HQ of the first session of the season; I was sitting in math class at the time.

Have you fools been watching the Bulls vs. Celtics series? The only way to describe it is beyond bonkers. Maybe Hecto-bonkers? Shit goes to four separate overtimes in five games, so why not just rep a triple OT in game six??? (And by the way, that links to a video recap, and the voice-over dudes fully KILL IT.) In a strange turn of events, the triple OT barn burner was somehow fully predicted. Corduroy believes. I almost can't believe I'm doing this, but Brad Miller is officially unbanned from The Plat, as is the entire Denver Nuggets team; I'm feeling those dudes. Go Bulls! In fact, I'm putting an entire moratorium on banned people/teams/etc. in the NBA. Platinumseagulls, Where Amazing Happens. I don't care if you don't care about basketball; tune in Saturday night for the real deal shit; fights, blood, and balls out basketball are a foregone conclusion.

You Will Soon brought the scoop; poor old Brian Wenning is now board sponsorless. F. Scott Fitzgerald chuckles from his grave; this is surely not the final chapter, Youtube vigil now in full effect.

Meza hit the nail on the head;

I don't know about you and your blog, but when we post a video of an international celebrity commenting on how one of our riders acts when they're drunk, we don't really feel like we have to post much else. Seriously.

Brad Pitt on Crailtap (you totally didn't see that already!).

After a brief foray into con-trails, reportedly shut down by shady figures within the Obama administration, Dank Nuggzz is back to bring the Dada cannabis sativa style. And oh yeah, fuck these dudes. Dank Nuggetzz is hereby banned from Platinum, you unoriginal bastards, while the newly reinstated gum-smacking yet underrated Andre Miller basks in the warm glow of the Platinum smile.

I can admit when I am wrong; just last week I said the Mariano Epicly Later'd was lacking pathos. Well, this week's episode just smacks with pathos. Get it, smacks?

Would a Wenning Epicly Later'd be watchable? Like a car wreck.

There's a new Wiskate video. One day we'll have foote here. Who else is a Max Murphy fan, and would Milwaukee footage ever feel so good if it weren't shot on a GL-1?

Nerd out on a great quote about comic book heroes: "On top of that, if you had a problem with his peeps? He'd kick your butt, bub."

Top Shop is this weekend.

April 27, 2009

B.E.E.R.S. Redux

Photo via The Hesh

Olu aka Emeric Pratt won the just for the fuck of it B.E.E.R.S. contest Plat and Handjob threw last Friday night. The fast and dirty rundown of how the event worked is this: You play S.K.A.T.E. except it's B.E.E.R.S., and if you get a letter that you don't want, then you beer bong or shotgun. It sounds so simple but it turned out way sloppy, and fucking awesome. Video coming via Fink, until then some shout outs off the top of my head, in three minutes or less.

Sober Soldier: Olu

The Opposite of Sober Soldier: Ryan Damian

Happy 34th: Turkey

Many Thanks, and you Ripped: Bill

Fastest Beer Bong: A-Plus

On Point: Sam McGuire

All Right, The Nollie Hardflip was Sick!: Dolo

Well Fought: London Luke

Gave 'em a Game: Josh Holtan

Got Good and Drunk: Everyone

A huge thanks to everyone that is involved in the Hiawatha spot for letting us hold an event at your place; big thanks to Luke for much of the heavy lifting, and just straight thanks to everyone that came out to an event held by two "companies/websites/entities;" it goes to show that even with no further agenda than having fun with your friends you can still rep some shit that will not soon be forgotten (multiple beer bongs non-withstanding).

With time, we'll no doubt be planning B.E.E.R.S. Two: Expanded Range. Keep an eye out.

April 23, 2009

The Great American Blog Post: Part 2

The first Great American Blog Post was all about Brian Wenning's fall from neo-ledge tech vanguard to dregs of the industry "I don't even have a board," making videos for Youtube type embarrassment. To lazily recap beyond that, the post centered on the fact that while the American Dream is the "rags to riches" archetype, when it comes down to it, the true American fascination lays in the Gatsbyan fall from grace, ala Mr. Wenning himself. There was also something about John Wilkes Booth being the first person ever banned posthumously form this website.

Part 2 centers on Thursdays, the glorious day that is the start of my weekend, a day that is one removed from the hated Hump Day, and also, the day when I get to watch the newest Epicly Later'd Show (that links to the most recent one), while sitting in bed in my underwear; mostly.

Simply put, this latest installment just oozed with potential, I mean, it's only about Guy Motherfucking Mariano, you know what I mean? While this set of episodes started off rocking our brains with tons of unseen Video Days foote and strange foreshadows of his partying days to come, as we've finally hit stride with Episode 7 (linked above, to restate), we're finding that the bottom isn't as far down as we thought...Perhaps Episode 8 will go into the nitty gritty of just how far Mariano went to the darkside, but at the end of the day or set of episodes, I don't feel like it will be all that satisfying.

The reason? It goes back to Gatsby. We already know that Mariano is the redeemed damned soul. Indeed, this comes off as pessimistic as hell, and while I'd rather have Mariano back and killing it and producing skateboarding to be drooled over for years to come; there would be something gratifying fromm that strictly American standpoint of watching a star fall from grace, only to leave more questions as to whether it returns to the heavens. Or something.

Which, point in case, case in point, or other, brings us to the Gino Ianucci episodes of Epicly Later'd. The comparison of two Girl Fam skaters of Italian immigrant decent is a little unfair, but the parallel stories and their (equally) vaunted status in skateboarding makes it fair...right? Whereas we know how Mariano's story ends, i.e., "triumphantly", Ianucci's tour de force left more questions than answers, and generally left the viewer with the melancholy question of whether dude will hold it together, or will his skateshop again be shuddered and he'll fade into obscurity, his pro-models being phased out, and his name on the Nike website being mysteriously (to a point) absent in the more near than distant future.

It's a shame that the Gatsbyan rule need apply to two of my most respected and favorite skaters; as a post script, let it be known that I hotly anticipate a video part out of both of those dudes; realistic expectations handicapped as necessary.

In Other News...

On St. Patrick's Day I nonchalantly hopped in my car to go to Rainbow, not really internalizing the day's significance to law-enforcement because I care nothing for St. Patrick's Day and just thought of it as Tuesday, or whatever day it fell on. Long-winded story short, I got pulled over for not using my turn-signal, and I understand that they're using any pretext in the book to nail some fools that day for drunk driving.

I wasn't drinking though. Nope. I suppose it's not the most logical approach to things, but I feel like if you're pulling me over on St. Patrick's day for suspected drunk driving on the pretext of not using my turn signal two blocks from my house, maybe you let me off without a ticket because I wasn't drunk. Indeed, it was failed logic, and no such thing was happening.

I got the ticket for failure to use a turn signal on a right turn. Out of general apathy for the whole ordeal I let the damn thing sit, and then today, I got the late violation letter in the mail. Motherfucker is costing me $133 (with the $5 late fee).

My life as a car driver has been ruined because now every time someone doesn't use a blinker I want to gouge my eyes out. Even now more so than ever, $133 later.

That's my rant; going outside. B.E.E.R.S. tomorrow.

April 21, 2009

Fear of a Platinum Planet

Steve was just at The Berrics and did 27 frontside ollies in a row! I know! View the best 9 of them right here boi!.

My last post was so controversial that Badger pulled the footage. Hopefully it resurfaces as a smaller part of a larger project. Sorry Badger!

Yesterday for 420 NPR aired an amazing story based upon the hypothetical that marijuana had been legal for two years, and they were reporting on the state of things. Here's the link, and definitely listen.

Doing the so-called impossible, Sam McGuire is exactly one step ahead of Google.

Could this be my last link about Twitter? Or wait, maybe this one is. Nevermind.

I'm not going to blather about the NBA Playoffs, no, I'll spare you all right now, but seriously, I have to bring up the fact that Tupac is alive and well and was at the Celtics/Bulls game last night. If I came back from the dead you know that's the type of shit I'd be doing.

April 20, 2009

93 'Til Infinity, or, Facebook Generated Content

Got home tonight and settled in for a night of basketball and chilling and whatnot, probably come computing too. I checked the ol' F-book and found this gem from '93 featuring a young Dolo, with cameos from Jackal, B-Show, and Turkey. In the 16 years since, Dolo's voice has dropped and his technique has drastically improved. Chad sounds exactly the same.

Got hosed in OUT again in the first round, I blame stanky legs from walking A GRIP this weekend (somewhat documented here), staying up late, and uncontrollable laughter during the game; I don't think I'm washed up. Yet. Anybody know who won the contest?

Indeed, stanky leg refers to both shitty legs in terms of skate ability, and the flair foot on 360 flips too (formerly referred to as party foot).

CHUD or No CHUD?: Lisa Loeb Edition. I say CHUD, be sure to read jerboi S Dot's explanation of your duty to weigh in on the issue.

Special 420 link: um, uh, aaaahhhhhhhhh...psssssshhh...DANK NUGGZZ.

April 17, 2009

Friday Part Three

HIGH FUCKING FIVES next time I see you.

Bonus Friday: Scarborough Real Talk

Friday.

Happy Weekend. Jack Sabback and Ben Gore!

Update: The best basketball read I've seen in a while: How to fake your way through the NBA Playoffs. Dan Dickau, you son of a bitch!

April 16, 2009

Does "Mound Opener" Sound Dirty To Anyone Else?

or Same thing!

Two T's or One?

That's Spencer Prati (or Pratti) from Iowa, a total friend of the Plat, and while I hadn't heard much about the dude for a while, while fully knowing that and having seen him fucking shred in person, it seems he's doing just fine skating OG SD spots quite properly. Nollie Flips! Credit goes to Sam for cluing me in on that first clip.

Speaking of Sam, it should be stated that he throws his blog around at Good Problem from time to time, and he just posted a story regarding the Flutter video below, well, right here.

I got hyped on the skating and then more and more on the song, Chris Cole proves that size doesn't matter.

Some south of the river dudes pretty much predicted the Malto/Davis connection in this video blog linked right hizzere. Whether Davis can beat out Mikey Taylor for the BFF of the second title will be telling, either way, Trevor, keep your cool if dude stays at your house.

Don't forget to check Plat Lite. I just posted a picture of my legs!

The dudes at The Hesh have been out skating and haven't been slacking on pointing the camera around either. And then Sherman got unquestionably D-Wayesque and shit.

And then, Happy Day After Tax Day. To celebrate, and to make sure that I use at least one Slate link, here they are explaining what happens if you don't pay your taxes.

Let's go skate.

April 14, 2009

Don't Even Need Twitter; We Got Flutter

Morbidly True

An old video but it hasn't been online for a sec, and it's a good video too, just look at Steve doing that hippy jump out of canyon ollie; but still, it's old, and my motivation to really think of shit for this website really broke down once the sun consistently shined and we had a chance to beat two times freezing any given day.

Then again, I just wonder if I even need to say anything about what is going on with Koston, or if I'm better suited to just posting Slate's defense of Limb Bizkit. I'm going with the latter.

Platinum Scoop!
We've obtained footage of well known adorable skate pixie DTorg.org getting into a very physical altercation with a well known and high profile teammate, view it here. This is not for the faint of heart, Davis makes Christian Bale's recent explosion look like amateur hour.

PS: I like this Boil The Ocean post. Also to be pondered; if pirates were the new Johnny Depp, then vampires were the new pirates, then zombies are the new vampires (well worth your read), how long will it take the pirates to overtake the zombies again?

And just to be safe, I checked.

April 13, 2009

Skater Dater

Peep this article "about" dating skateboarders, and as I was told, be aware that the comments are the best part. Link jacked from Pat, thanks.

I'm still not into Twitter.

Gonna nerd out hard on Backstory.

Ok, that is all.

April 11, 2009

April 10, 2009

$1, 3 Polls, Or Something

Oh lecherous readers; skirts are indeed so integral to Springtime in Minnesota! I however, voted for biking, because it's so integral to chasing skirts, living without even having to open a window, and transit to getting iced coffees and chilling on porches, but there's no wrong answer. What!? I'll be the first to admit that this is the worst poll ever, but seriously, those who voted for Weekend At Bernie's 2, that movie is so unbelievable. While Lifetime is just unambitiously and consistently boring, and MTV is a vapid hodgepodge of unreality and banality of its own creation, AND Fox News makes a hoax of journalism and just builds disdain for the WASP ideal, I feel like Spike represents the biggest affront to taste, intelligence, and Culture (yes, with a capital "C"). I'm a huge Star Wars nerd, but when Spike is showing Star Wars, Star Wars fuckin' sucks. Spike should probably be banned, but I don't have the energy...

April 8, 2009

Locs...Sam McGuire

Drawing by Zach Mosher

Name: Samuel Vincent McGuire

Nicknames: For one reason or another I've never had a nickname. A few have tried to, their failed attempts were F-Stop, Pancake Face and Nicole (The last two have really no reasoning behind them).

Age: 420 backwards.

What's your deal? Just pulled up to tha club, VIP. Gas tank's on E but all drinks on me!!!! (Wipe me down).

Where are you doing it? 44.94 (44°56') | -93.25 (-93°14')

How high can you ollie? White man can't jump.

Can I have your board? Sure.

Favorite local video: Greg Pinski's sponsor me tape.

What's in your car? A spare deck-a few empty boxes, some weird reflector thing and some trash. I just cleaned it out the other day.

It's a hot day, should we go skating or swimming? Swimming!

Who's your favorite local skater? Kyle Joseph Burns

Where's the best place to eat? My Grandma's.

Mini-ramp and beer or out on the streets all day? Wait I thought we were going swimming...

How old are you in skate years? A Baker's Dozen? I kind of forget when I started.

It's 10 PM on a Saturday night, what are you doing? (Refer to "What's your deal?")

Hotel 1066

The Chrome Ball Incident, per usual, brings the heat with a post regarding the criminally overlooked Joey Pepper. After Pepper's brief stint in Hotel 1066, he still remembers me as "Gilbert Godfrey," a nickname I'm loathe to understand.

I link the photo above because it was shot by none other than Ryan Damian; one-time skate photog, Boston enthusiast, part-time musician, full-time dude who is known as fuck. Ryan himself said of the photo, "Face was a little blown out but whatevs."

Now that I've got a phone that gets its interweb on, it was time to, well, do this: The Plat Lite; Moblog, Less Filler.

The Viking is showing up here this weekend. Can someone explain using "LOL" in graffiti? Blame it on Twitter (is Twitter now banned?)?

We should probably go to this; let's get froggy.

April 7, 2009

BUBD 2...

Locs...Andy Paulsen

Sequence by Sam McGuire

Name: Andrew James William Alexander Paulsen

Nicknames: A plus, A+, Plus, Frankenplus, Plustasy, Drew, Droobie, Drewski, Dookie and D-. Thanks Rob. Thanks to my friends for giving me a dual personality.

Age: 34

What's your deal? Trying to keep my focus on what I'm good at...Whatever that may be and I'm happy to be here on the face of the Earth.

Where are you doing it? Been ramping a lot; need to get back to the streets.

How high can you ollie? High enough.

Can I have your board? If you where going for broke and busted your shit, you can have it.

Favorite local video: Shitheads all the way....I have the last trick...Thanks Meyer.

What's in your car? Spare shoes and boards.

It's a hot day, should we go skating or swimming? Eric's ramp while I swim in my sweat.

Who's your favorite local skater? That's really hard to answer...Mr. Tim Bennet. He makes skating so fun and he makes really hard tricks look so easy.

Where's the best place to eat? At any backyard BBQ with my friends.

Mini-ramp and beer or out on the streets all day? Beer and buddies.

How old are you in skate years? 24 and counting...Body permitting.

It's 10 PM on a Saturday night, what are you doing? Maybe out being social or at home trying to be constructive 1072 style...Ha ha.

April 6, 2009

SAME DEAL?

How's that NYC reunion trip coming? Pooh, phone home.

Mission accomplished, Agent Cody Banks handled biz at Phoenix Am and won the damn thang.

Update inspiration has been hard to come by; I don't think any more book club posts are even in the distant future, but it's been a struggle not just to post pictures of pretty girls and call it a day. Hopefully, proper spring weather will inspire actual inspiration, chadig?

Oh yeah, stumbled upon this Josh Anderson part that is radical, just ignore the Papa Roach ad which precedes it.

April 3, 2009

Flavor Country

Road Trip! Happy Weekend.

Platinumseagulls Book Club: 2666

Reading has been trife for me lately. I don't have that typical excuse of people in school who can say, "Oh, I read way too much for school to read for pleasure;" I haven't had to read shit for school in almost two years. Nah, I really can't pin point what it's been. For one thing, maybe, I've got cable; I waste a ton of time watching Manswers...Whatever, reading has been a sore spot for about the past year. It took me more than six months to read all 368 pages of The Electric Acid Kool-Aid Test. Been blowing it.

Then there was 2666, by Roberto Bolaño. Me trying to explain what it's all about is superfluous; attend the preceding link for plot delineation. 2666, hailed as the best book of 2008 by Time Magazine, is a total mindfuck, at times coyly pedestrian, at other times brutally grotesque (speaking of brutally grotesque, shouts to my girl Cynthia Jones' leg; stay up lady!). At about 900 pages long, and no doubt it's dense (Bolaño is incredibly contemptuous of the paragraph break), somehow, 2666 is a surprisingly fast read.

There is no good explanation why it reads so well; beyond the two plus page paragraphs, there are no chapter breaks (there are five different sections; at one point Bolaño intented them to be published as separate books), the novel spans two continents, and in a Dickensian turn, there is a multitude of characters. My only explanation for 2666's consumability is that Bolaño fucks with the reader so much, so much so that satisfaction will only be found when explanations of just what Bolaño is doing are found. Bolaño confounds in many ways (to give "fucks with" a rest); from random expositions on Greek Myth, to real or unreal allusions to literature and history, he's constantly taking the long way to get to the end, if there is one. And in an embrace (or thug hug) of the cliché, as far as 2666 is concerned, getting there is the whole point; destinations be damned.

As far as Bolaño goes as a writer, he's the good kind; I can't help picturing him but as a total and complete dick. As I picture him posthumously, I see a strong introvert, obsessive compulsiveness, extreme intelligence, egotism, and tragedy (this opinion is backed by no real research, the only research done was reading one of his novels). As for his style, he's obsessed with the minutiae and the seemingly mundane; he extrapolates a written life that is, at times, chillingly close to the real. With all stated facts about 2666 and Bolaño standing in contradiction with this last idea, somehow, he is very straight forward.

If I were to have one bit of negative criticism for 2666, it comes down to the translation (from Spanish), which, for 99.9% of the time, is spot on and seamless. No doubt, Natasha Wimmer did an exemplary job, but words like "fucked," "fucking," (in regards to sex), "faggot," (in regards to sexual orientation and of ?) and "nigger," (used in conversation between two African-American men) at times, come off as heavy handed and gratuitous. One (me) only assumes that Bolaño was a bit more inventive in his use in his native tongue, though that may be a stretch as far as is the latter is concerned.

All in all, especially if you've read with interest this entire "Book Club" post, find and read 2666. While it's not out on paperback, get the hard novel and experience the hand-ahces that it will give you. If there were a link between skateboarding and 2666 [as in the spirit of finding a link between skateboarding and "Man on Wire" as in the Movie Club post (though I'm not sure there is one for 2666)], it would be Bolaño's desultory approach to the novel and skateboarding's desultoriness to everything in general. Whatever; I hate philosophising about skateboarding.

Currently I'm attempting to read "Swann's Way," by Proust, on a dare to myself and as a nod to my freshman literature course when it was assigned and I never read it (oh, the year 2000). On a pipe's dream I thought I'd read the entirety of "Remembrance of Things Past" (newly translated as "In Search of Lost Time," though, I love the old version more, and have made numerous references to the old in my own written works), but as Swann is showing me, I'm too much of a pussy to hack Proust, so don't expect any "Book Club" posts involving Ol' Marcel. Next one might be about Tom Wolfe's "The Electric Acid Kool-Aid Test," as mentioned above, or I may dive into Kerouac, which seems obvious, but I'm talking more "Dharma Bums" than "On The Road."

Straight forward skateboard bullshit on the next post, pinkey sweared!

April 2, 2009

Winona Riders?

I've got adult onset Winona Ryder obsessive compulsion as of late. Who wouldn't want that disorder though?

All I've got to say about this Dank Knuggzz post is PREACH!. Also, these fools need to watch their backs, Juvenile is coming...

Just to go along with the links above, and I can't remember if I'd posted this before, how to make a skull bong.

Plotting and planning BUBD 2, The Stone Arch Massacre, I got thinking about my long line of cruiser boards. The first one I had was commandeered as a filming board by Meyer, and then subsequently was left at a spot a week or so later. The second one I had ended up in McGuire's trunk, ended up at The Full Kit in IC, and then was peaced into obscurity. My third rig almost ended up as a coffee shop rig at Mikey Taylor's house, but thankfully, Sam never let it out of his trunk, and after almost a full year of cruising around in the back of his Taurus, it will be returning to my possession next week. Heartwarming.

Peeped some of those Bang Yo Self videos and noticed that dudes are really feeling manuals out of tricks. Not sure how much I'm feeling it.

This post has a lot of bong coverage; and now, Octobong.

Wiskate plug.

MEMORY SCAN

April 1, 2009

O'Doyle Rules

No true April Fool's post here this year, though one could consider my NBA analysis a foolish endeavor. Yeah. Instead, here's a video of Daewon just killing it in his socks. I love that guy.

How The Plat Did On NBA Predictions, '08-'09

Yes, the NBA season is almost over, so I went back to my October 28th '08 NBA Predictions post so see how things were shaping up. Let's compare what I said to what has actually precipitated. From here a cut and past of the post commences and then my comments in italics:

Western Conference Finalists: LA Lakers. Runner up: New Orleans Hornets.

Yes, the LA Lakers will reign supreme, make it to The West Finals, and take them. Out of the question is the Hornets, who are inexplicably an inferior team to last year's. If I had to bet, I'll say the Spurs end up in the West Finals, and the Lakers topple them in five or six.

Eastern Conference Finalists: Boston Celtics. Runner up: Cleveland Cavaliers.

Flip this last prediction around, and you may have it; I'll be floored if the Cavs don't make it to the Finals. Add in KG's injured status and you may have to replace the ailing Celtics with the Orlando Magic. The fact of the matter is that no matter who makes the East Finals against the Cavs, they're not going to win. The Cavs are too hungry and too deep.

MVP: Lebron James. Runners up: Chris Paul, Dwight Howard.

Got this one pretty much correct; while Kobe parlays with the help of '08 All Star Pau Gasol, Lebron parlays the help of the amazing but replacement status All Star Mo Williams...There is endless debate about how to settle the MVP race, whether it's the best player on the best team, whether it's the player that carries their team the most, and so forth; don't matter, it's Lebron. My Runners up were wrong, I'm going with, of course, Kobe, always sick, and then the resurgent Dwayne Wade, who I should have picked simply having seen him play in the Olympics.

Sixth Man of the Year: Lamar Odom. Runner up: an injured Manu Ginobli.

This bet was placed solely on Odom's bench status, and all in all he's been in the starting mix too much (probably) to make this one happen. Then again there are his numbers too...Jason Terry probably has this one, and while I can't seem to like him, he sounds like a great human being; dude bought a church for his mother for cripe's sake. I stand by my choice of an injured Ginobli as second place.

Rookie of the Year: Rudy Fernandez. Runners up: Derrick Rose, Michael Beasley, Greg Oden.

Oops. I gave this one up to some favoritism, liking Rudy's game more than actually looking at the facts at hand. Yes, he's been an impact player, and yes he might play a couple of rounds in the Playoffs, but no, he is no ROY. Derrick Rose will be ROY no doubt; his team is in the Playoffs, and as mentioned in the comments to the original predictions post, Greg Oden could be a humongous #1 Pick bust.

Most Improved Player: Andrew Bynum. Runners up: Randy Foye, Devin Harris.

Andrew Bynum done busted up his knee, again, and thus is out. That leaves Devin Harris, who will take it. Randy Foye, who, due to major inconsistency and playing for a crappy team, is another some-what embarrassing pick.

Coach of the Year: Nate McMillan. Dark Horse: Doc Rivers.

I haven't heard much chatter about Coach of the Year this time around, so I'll stick with Nate McMillan of the Blazers to maybe take this thing away; don't know why I picked Doc. While I'd love to throw Mike D'Antoni into the mix, he still didn't quite pull it off.

How are the Wolves going to do? Feast and famine, feast and famine. I wouldn't be surprised to see a seven or eight game winning streak though. We'll top out 33-49. See you at the home opener.

Well shit, I was sort of right on this, that's what I'm claiming. Feast and famine was correct, while it maybe should have been famine, famine, large dinner type talk. Repeat. Al Jefferson played 50 games for the Wolves and I feel like it would have been possible to hit 30 wins with him still in; nowadays at 21-54, it still seems possible to beat they're abysmal 22-60 record of yesteryear, but I don't see much more than 24-58 at this point. Here's to the Lottery!

At The Finals... The Lakers and Celtics end up there again, and David Stern pinches himself. The Lakers have a better record from the regular season by two to four games, and have split the season series with Boston 1-1. Barring a bizarre trade or a free agent pickup late in the season that gives Boston more depth, I'm saying, as much as it pains me, that the Lakers take the series in six, in a very tight game six.

I got this one wrong in that it's going to be Lakers vs. Cavs, but David Stern can still pinch himself, because the two biggest superstars in the league will be going at it, and let me tell you, I'm furiously awaiting this one (and hoping my prediction is correct). Because I'm not sure who actually has home court advantage on this one, I'll just say the Cavs will. I predict a ratings bonanza of hard nosed defensive minded basketball that mingles with insane fast breaking action; couple that with a Kobe on Lebron/Lebron on Kobe series and here's one for the ages. From there, David Stern breaks into tears of joy as the series goes to game seven in Cleveland, where Lebron James, in fourth quarter heroics (along with two timely threes by Mo Williams) keeps a close game closer to a blow out. From there though, Kobe responds with a couple of and one's to keep things interesting, the Lakers come up on some stops, and things are again up in the air in Cleveland. After that though, Lebron makes a tough shot, dimes one to an open Delonte West for three, and then, in true hoops dreams type steez, dunks over the entire Los Angeles Lakers team for a buzzer beating two. And he hits the free throw (Adam Morrison managed to foul him). That's more or less what's going to happen.

In short, the NBA Finals will come down to the Cavs and the Lakers, the Cavs take it in seven.

That's all for the compare/contrast, and now for other NBA observances: Boo Hoo the fuckin' Phoenix Suns. You guys blew it. Way to waste Grant Hill's first 82 game season. Same goes to the Hornets, but you guys just blew it. My T-Wolves blew again, but not as bad as could have been (sugary coating!), and I'm glad Wittman is gone. Kevin Love proved to be OJ Mayo's foil and OJ Mayo was Kevin Love's foil...we might be even, but I truly do think my homerism will keep KLove on top. Brandon Roy for Randy Foye proves to be an epic FAIL, while I see the New York Knicks being scary in the 2010-11, scary in a good way. There's more. Back to skateboarding at another time.